You may be thinking of sex, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to do it.
You’re not alone! Having sex can be a big step in your life, and it should be thought of and planned well, too. Each person is different, and you’re the only one who can decide what’s best for you. Here are some questions that can help you and your partner figure out if you’re ready to have sex (some of your answers might even surprise you!)
What Is The Right Age To Have Sex
There is no such thing as “right age” to have sex. People may engage in sexual activities at different times in their lives; some may have their first sexual experience at a young age, while some may have it at a much later time. Keep in mind that people have different definitions or concepts of “sex”.
Questions To Ask Yourself If You Are Thinking About Having Sex For The First Time
Is this the right time for me?
Am I comfortable with my own body?
What do I know about sex? Have I done my homework? Do I know the difference between sex myths and sex facts? (If you feel like you need to know more, browse other articles on this website)
Do I know how to protect myself from unplanned pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?
Do I feel safe and comfortable with my partner?
Am I feeling pressured into having sex?
What are my boundaries? What activities am I not comfortable with?
What are my hopes and fears about sex?
Questions to talk to your partner about
It’s important to talk about it, especially if this is going to be your first sexual experience! It can feel uncomfortable or awkward, but making things clear about what you are ready or not ready for is really important.
How do we feel about sex? What are our hopes for the experience?
Have we had any negative experiences with sex in the past?
Do we have any fears or worries about sex?
Do we feel safe and comfortable with each other?
Do we need protection against unplanned pregnancy and/or STIs and if so, what type will we choose?
Have we talked about the words we want to use for our body parts?
Do we expect our relationship will change after we have sex? How?
Are we okay if one partner decides to stop when we are having sex?
What kind(s) of sex do we want to have (e.g. vaginal, oral, anal, etc)?
Is this a one-time thing or will we continue to have sex?
There are other things you would need to think about as well once you’ve decided to have sex.
- CONSENT. Sexual consent is when both people agree to have sex without pressure, force, or manipulation. Talking about what each person wants and does not want, and respecting each other’s boundaries are very important.
- HONESTY. Being honest is important in any relationship, especially in a sexual relationship.
- TEST. Get tested for STIs, especially when you or your partner had already experienced oral, vaginal, or anal sex in the past. Doing so will help prevent any STI from spreading.
- PROTECTION. Using contraceptives and condoms will protect you from contracting STIs and having an unplanned pregnancy. Talk with your partner about having safe sex.
- COMMUNICATE. It’s important to talk with your partner about what you’re into and what not. This means asking your partner whether they want to do what you say you want to do, and telling your partner whether or not you want to do what they say they want to do. Both of you can also say “stop” or “no”in any situation.
- THINK. Consider all possible risks that sex poses—some may be pretty big. Talk about how you would handle an unplanned pregnancy or an STI before having sex.
Deciding if you’re ready to have sex is a big decision that’s very personal. It’s important to think it through and wait until you’re sure you’re ready. Check out these resources to learn more!