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Your Guide To Sexting (Safely)

Your Guide To Sexting (Safely)

If you’re not yet familiar with the word ‘sexting,’ it simply means sending someone sexy pictures, videos, or messages through your phone or computer. It doesn’t necessarily have to be explicit. Messages and images could be as simple as innuendos or something suggestive that directs to anything sexual.

Sexting is a brand new skill that adds spice to a relationship, especially in this modern, digital age. It’s a fun and flirty way to stay connected with your partner, and make you two think of sex all day — which makes it great foreplay! Sending sexts to your partner while you’re away from each other gets you excited for the next time you’ll be together again.

It’s a frisky act, but sexting can turn risky and complicated if you get reckless. If you want to try it out but still feels awkward about it, here’s a guide on how you can start sexting.

The Basics

Make sure the person is real! This goes to everyone who hasn’t met the person they’re talking to face-to-face yet. Just because they have a picture and a bio doesn’t mean you can completely trust them already, especially with your sexts or nudes! The excitement can totally make you act on impulse, but you must be careful. Not entirely sure if the person is 100% real or honest? Don’t even think about sexting or sending nudes. We suggest spending more time having casual conversations to get know each other more. If you can, try to get links to their social media profiles.

Timing. Be aware of where your partner is and what they’re doing before you send out that sext. Out on a family get-together or at a meeting with their boss is not the best time to initiate it. Maybe you could ask them what they’re doing if you’re not sure where they are. If they’re not in the right headspace or mood, it could ruin the moment.

Get consent. Yup, you still need your partner’s consent even in sexting. Asking your partner if their down for it can also help you overcome your shyness or fear of getting turned down. This also gives your partner a heads up that you’re about to send things that are only meant for their eyes, so that they can avoid potentially embarrassing moments.

Sending unsolicited dirty pictures is inappropriate and a major turn off. That’s actually sexual harassment and could be punishable by law. Just don’t even think about doing it if your partner isn’t in the mood or you didn’t get clear and proper consent.

Inject humor. Starting off sexting with a bit of humor helps open up the conversation first before getting into the steamy and intense phase. Just make sure it’s the right amount because you might end up laughing at each other instead of turning each other on.

Take it slow. The build-up is what keeps sexting steamy and exciting. Start the conversation with something suggestive, but doesn’t reveal too much. Remember, sexting leans more toward foreplay than actual sex. Let them use their imagination!

You’re in control. You’re in control, and playing the role of a flirty partner who’s ready to get dirty. Use your words, photos, videos, and voice messages to tease your partner to create a fantasy in their mind.

Be direct. Your sexts will not have much impact if the language is too vague and fuzzy. It’s easy for your message to be misunderstood when it’s communicated through text and it’s not clear. Communicate in a way that your point can easily be understood.

Be descriptive. Using clear, sensual and sensory descriptors will make it easier to paint a fantasy in your partner’s mind. Tip: recap the hot things you’ve done before and tell them what you want to do with them in the future.

Keep it short. Make your sexts short, direct, and easy to digest. This also keeps the pace up so that you don’t lose the momentum. Tip: think of questions, scenarios, and lines beforehand, and stock your phone with sexy pictures and videos that you plan on sending.

Personalize it. If you need some inspiration, you could draw from your own personal experiences or recap your latest hot moment with your partner. Compliment your partner and let them know how their outfits, actions, words, etc. have turned you on. You can also use words, emojis, memes, gifs, and terms that both of you will understand. If you use words such as “love stick,” “slit,” or “peach” to refer to the genitals, go for it!

Open up your fantasies. Talking about your fantasies and desires could be uncomfortable, especially if it’s done face-to-face. Sexting is your opportunity to open up your fantasies because there’s less pressure when your partner isn’t there staring back at you as you speak.

Ask questions. Sexting is a conversation between you and your partner after all. Asking your partner sexy questions lets you find out what they’re thinking and what they fantasize about. It could also help you paint a clearer image of their fantasies in your imagination.

Have fun! How you would tease your partner is within your control. Have fun with it and who knows where it could lead you two next?

Some sext lines you could use

Sexting can start from playful, to flirting, to foreplay, and up until to hardcore. Here are some lines that could help you along the way.

“Your legs have been on my mind all day.”

“What’s your favorite part of my body?”

“Thinking about your lips.”

“I’d rather be kissing you right now.”

“I think I want you for dessert tonight.”

“I can’t stop thinking about how hot the other night was.”

“Your hands are pure magic.”

“I’m craving for you right now.”

“Can I undress you on the couch tonight?”

“I wish I could taste you right now.”

“What’s your fantasy?”

There are a bunch of sexts that you can use, and it’s totally up to you how you’ll do it and get creative with it.

More important things to remember

What if I don’t want to do it?

If you’re not comfortable with sexting or sending out nudes, you have all the right to say no and not do it. Refusing to do so will not lessen your worth. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your relationship at all times.

If you receive a sext or a nude picture and you’re not comfortable with it, don’t show it to anybody and delete it immediately. Don’t let it pressure you to reciprocate the action by sending one back. Let them know that you’re uncomfortable and why you don’t want to receive anything like that.

Is it illegal?

Sending, owning, or taking nude or sexual pictures of a minor (anyone under 18 years old) is illegal even if both of you agree to do it. It’s never a good idea to have, send, or forward nudes of a minor.

It’s still never okay to send or release nudes of another person even if the relationship is over, you’re in bad terms, or you got in a really nasty fight. Whatever was shared to you in private should always be kept private no matter what happens. Better delete the photos or sexts immediately once you’re done with them so that no traces are left behind that other people might see.

How can I assure that it stays just between us?

No matter how much you love your partner, how much you trust them, or how much they promised you that they will not leak anything you sent them, there is no complete guarantee that it will only stay private between you two once you send that sext or nude. It’s easy for anyone to save and send pictures without you knowing it. You have no control who can see it and where it can go once you send it out to even just your partner. Deleting it from your phone, page, or profile can’t take it back or stop people from saving and sending it. Think twice or thrice before you send that sext or nude.

Sexting is both frisky and risky at the same time, but it’s totally up to you if you’re down to do it. There’s nothing wrong with having fun and flirting with your partner, but there are things that are just really not okay — so you always have to ask for explicit consent. Remember to respect you and your partner’s boundaries, as well as what is okay and what is not okay to do. You have the freedom to do what you want, but the possible consequences will always be there. Stay safe and sext at your own risk.

Sources:

https://www.thecut.com/article/sexting-how-to-ultimate-guide.html

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/bullying-safety-privacy/all-about-sexting

https://lovematters.in/en/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/sext-etiquette-dos-and-donts-for-sexting-strangers

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