You know that old saying “opposites attract”? Well, turns out, it might not be the best strategy for finding a long-term partner. According to experts, having some key similarities can actually lay the groundwork for a more solid relationship.
Forget about being polar opposites – it’s all about finding common ground. Whether it’s values, interests, or goals, these shared aspects can really make or break a relationship in the long run.
Finance
It’s no secret that finances can stir up some serious disagreements in relationships. From differing spending habits to financial goals, it’s all part of the package. But hey, it’s not about who earns more or less – it’s about finding that sweet spot where you’re both on the same page.
Take some time to chat about your money mindset, goals, and how you plan to tackle them together. Will you combine your finances or keep them separate? What about splitting costs?
And hey, don’t forget about any past debts or financial commitments – they’re all part of the equation too. The key is to lay it all out on the table early on, have those open conversations, and find a plan that works for both of you.
Family
Starting and caring for your own family is a big commitment. First things first, do both of you want kids? And if so, how are we gonna raise ’em? It might seem like a no-brainer to chat about this stuff before tying the knot, but you’d be surprised how many folks haven’t. Trust us, it’s better to hash it out early than end up in a sticky situation down the road.
Dive in when you will have kids, where you will raise them, schools, parenting style, shared responsibilities, discipline, values – every detail you can think of. It’s all about being open, honest, and on the same page from the get-go. Heads up that this conversation may also involve discussing contraceptive options. So before diving right in, make sure you’ve done your research about the different family planning methods you can choose from.
Lifestyle
Let’s talk about keeping the spark alive – play and adventure! Every relationship needs a good dose of fun, right? Now, what counts as play and adventure can vary from person to person. Maybe one of you loves outdoor activities, while the other prefers cozy movie nights. And you know what? That’s totally cool! The key is to respect each other’s idea of fun and adventure. So, whether it’s hiking through the mountains or binge-watching your favorite TV show together, embrace each other’s quirks and enjoy the ride!
BUT remember that relationships aren’t always about fun and play. You also have to talk about your lifestyle together through the mundane days. How would you share your day-to-day responsibilities? How do your work schedules align? Will you be consistently exercising together? Those types of things.
The takeaway
Forget the idea that you need to be carbon copies of each other! Sure, personality traits can be fun to compare, but what really matters are the fundamentals. Whether you’re the life of the party or more of a quiet observer, what truly counts are those shared values. You know, like how you view family, manage money, and spend your downtime. And we’re not telling you that these are the only things you need to talk about.
There are so many other topics you should discuss as a couple. Strong relationships are built by a never-ending conversation between partners. Think of these talks like your favorite TV show – they’re ongoing, with plot twists and character development along the way! Life’s full of surprises, right? We can’t promise your relationship will be immune to all the ups and downs, but hashing out these tough topics early on will definitely give you a leg up. So, here’s to understanding each other better and boosting your chances of a happy-ever-after.
Sources:
Shrikant, A. (June 10, 2023).
Successful couples share 3 key values—forget ‘opposites attract,’ says dating expert. CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/10/successful-couples-share-these-3-values-says-match-dating-expert.html
Gottman, J. (n.d.). The Eight Conversations That Matter Most in Relationships. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-eight-conversations-that-matter-most-in-relationships/
Dellino Family Law Group. (n.d.) Top 9 “Tough Topics” Couples Should Discuss Before Tying the Knot. Dellino Family Law Group. https://dellinolaw.com/top-9-tough-topics-couples-should-discuss-before-tying-the-knot/
