Achieving the Big “O” together seems like every couple’s goal every time they have intercourse, and a lot of people think that it must happen to have a satisfying sexual relationship. But in reality, simultaneous O’s don’t always happen and it’s only one potential part of a satisfying sexual relationship.
Coming together can be fun and fulfilling for you and your partner, but it’s not as easy as how movies or erotic films make them appear to be.
Couples who have been together for years and in a close and loving relationship are more likely to ‘come together,’ since it takes time to be completely comfortable with each other and understand each other’s sexual responses well.
Why are simultaneous orgasms difficult to achieve?
Women don’t reach climax as fast and as easy as men. A lot of women have difficulty reaching climax with their partners during intercourse because it takes more stimulation for a woman to peak. Intercourse is often thought of as penis-in-vagina penetration only, which rarely makes women climax. Foreplay and other types of stimulation — such as clitoral stimulation — are very crucial for a woman to climax, which their partners (especially the men) often fail to do.
Timing is important. Even if a woman can climax through penetration, it could be difficult for the man to ‘time’ when he comes to synchronize with the woman. However, a lot of men cannot time when they come, especially those who experience premature ejaculation.
How to achieve simultaneous Big O’s
A lot of couples may not experience coming together, or at least on a regular basis. But don’t lose hope! It may be difficult, but it is still possible. Here are a few tips to help you if you really want to try it.
Don’t focus too much or pressure yourselves. It’s easier to climax when you’re comfortable and enjoying the moment. Focusing and pressuring yourselves too much on achieving it will hinder you from savoring the pleasures and sensations. Remember, coming together is only one possible aspect of a fulfilling sexual relationship. Be in the moment and enjoy this moment of intimacy with your partner. Think of simultaneous climaxing as a bonus, and not the ultimate goal of your intimacy.
Know what your partner wants. Your partner’s experience is just as important as yours, especially if you want to come together. Take time to find what your partner likes and enjoys. Focusing on your partner may even turn you on just as how they are turned on, and help you both climax at the same time.
Focus on the clitoris. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to stimulation, and is the only organ in a woman’s body that is solely for pleasure. A lot of women achieve climax through clitoral stimulation. It could be the key to coming together.
Be in sync with your partner. Try to match your partner’s pace and take turns stimulating and pleasing each other. Satisfying both of your needs is important in simultaneous climax.
Control ejaculations. It’s not easy, but it can be practiced! Controlling ejaculations will help a man come at the same time as the woman. Stopping the stimulation that triggers ejaculation could put a man’s climax on hold for a while to bring more focus on the woman’s pleasures until they can come at the same time. There are a lot of ways on how ejaculation can be controlled; find out what works for you.
Use lube. Lube could also help a woman peak faster. It makes intercourse more comfortable while making stimulation more pleasurable. With lube by your side, you can also have longer sessions and have more chances of coming together.
Don’t make simultaneous climax a big deal! The pressure makes it harder to achieve. It’s not the only goal to have a fulfilling sexual experience — just one possible aspect of it. Relax and always remember that coming together can be achieved through practice. The most important thing is that both of you are enjoying the intimate experience.