If you’re having sex at all, you might recognize one of these… you can call them whatever you want.
Sex is fun. There is no denying the fact. Also, it is a completely normal and healthy part of life, so it is only natural that you want to have as much of it as you can. There are a number of unsaid rules about sex that you are obligated to follow because after all, you have to actually do it with someone else for the act to be complete — because for most people, its teamwork, really. However, not everyone has actually perfected the art of intercourse — which is not really a crime unless they’re so inconsiderate as to not think of their partner. These are the kinds of people who are absolutely the worst to sleep with. These are the people no one ever wants to have sex with. Here are the top candidates from our list:
It is natural to love it when your partner makes some noise to show their appreciation for your talents in bed. However, when you are doing it with a person who is a loudmouth, they are all about the noise and less about what is actually happening. They are ready to make the loudest noises and make the most intense faces and basically deliver a 2-minute performance that is worthy of the Oscars, but you can feel the fakeness of it all, and you are left feeling used and resentful.
The bedroom police
This is the annoying partner who needs everything to be exactly as they want it to be. They tell you what they want, and how they want it, they hand you a rule book before you actually start having sex and God forbid should you do something they haven’t approved of- you are in for a lonely night from the very next second. It’s like having sex with your high-school principal basically.
The selfish lover
You can’t even call them a lover. The worst kind of sex partners are the ones who orgasm within the first 5 minutes and leave you dazed and confused, and then later angry and dissatisfied, they fall asleep right after they have been adequately satisfied or push you out of their house after they have used your genitals to their maximum capacity!
The dead fish
The dead fish is precisely what you think — a person who lies there and takes your nefarious ministrations with no enthusiasm, effort, or participation. They’re basically a sex doll that maintains body temperature. If you’ve never experienced this, count yourself lucky, because you’ve avoided the existential fear of basically knowing what necrophilia is like.
If you have been victim to any of the above-mentioned kinds, then we truly feel sorry for you and can only hope that you read the signs before it is too late. However, if you are one of these sex partners, then I suggest you undergo self-reform immediately for the sake of humanity!