Girls’ guide to initiating sex

Girls' guide to initiating sex

When it comes to relationships or sex, men are often expected to make the first move all the time. But, hey, they want to feel desired too!

For the girls who’ve never initiated sex before, the first time could be scary and intimidating. But the more times you’ll do it, the less anxious you’ll feel — and it could potentially give you a better sex life. So girls, now is the best time to make the first move!

Why you should start initiating sex

Putting the pressure on men could make them feel like their partner is no longer interested in them. Sex could also turn into another routine if you always rely on your partner to make the first move. You’ll eventually know exactly how and when they’ll initiate, and that’s going to make things boring.

Desire isn’t based on your sex or gender. Anyone can want to have sex, and make the moves to make sex happen. Well, it’s time to flip the script, girls!

Taking the lead and initiating sex yourself can take off the pressure from your partner and switch up your routine. If you initiate sex, you can make the encounter different from the usual and then take the direction you’ve always wanted — that’s gonna amp up the excitement and pleasure!

Besides that, taking the lead shows your partner that you want them and they’re desirable. So when you’re initiating sex, consider how good you can make them feel rather than how they can make you feel.

How to initiate sex

You might be nervous — maybe even clueless — if it’s going to be your first time to initiate sex. There’s no  right or wrong way to initiate sex. How you choose to do it should be in line with your partner’s preferences, which is often the same as their love language.

Be direct

Being direct is often the best thing to do because your partner may not pick up on the hints you’re dropping.

Tell your partner that you want to have sex or ask them if they want to have sex, and watch your partner’s face light up at the idea! You might be surprised by how fast they’ll respond to your invitation for sex.

A simple “You in the mood for sex tonight?” can go a long way. Or while you’re on the way home from a night out, you can casually slip the question into a casual conversation. It will catch your partner by surprise and make the sex even hotter!

Send a naughty text

If you haven’t built the confidence yet to initiate sex right in front of your partner, sending them a naughty text would be your best bet.

Aside from that, sending naughty text messages is also a fun way to build up your partner’s excitement and have them thinking about you while you’re apart. Their clothes will definitely fall off once they come home to you!

Dress the part

Do you have sexy lingerie or a naughty costume that you’ve been wanting to wear? This is your sign to show it off!

You’re bound to send the right signals and capture your partner’s attention if you step into the room wearing something sexy.

Harness the power of touch

A little bit of touchin’ could get you a whole lot of lovin’!

Build up the desire by stroking your partner’s inner thigh. Get really close to the crotch, but don’t touch their junk — that’s gonna drive them wild! This is fun to do when you’re just watching TV together or while your partner is scrolling through their phone.

You can also tease some more while your partner’s standing at the kitchen counter, casually slither in front of them and grind your booty against their crotch.


Kassel, G. (February 26, 2020). Initiating Sex Doesn’t Have to Be Awkward — Here’s How to Make Your Move. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-to-initiate-sex 

Miller, K. (March 17, 2016). 6 Ways to Initiate Sex That Will Have Your Partner Panting. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19936069/how-to-initiate-sex/ 

Cox, T. (February 5, 2020). The 23 ways to initiate sex without feeling awkward! Tracey Cox calls on women to take the lead as she reveals why it’s the single most effective way to improve your relationship. Mail Online. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7962567/The-23-ways-initiate-sex-without-feeling-awkward.html 

Lim, A. (September 22, 2020). 5 Women Reveal Their Favourite Ways To Make The First Move In Bed. HerWorld. https://www.herworld.com/gallery/life/micro-cheating-partner-signs/ 

Adriana. (February 10, 2022). 9 Ways to Initiate Sex, Drive Him Wild and Take Control Of Your Sex Life. Bad Girls Bible. https://badgirlsbible.com/how-to-initiate-sex 

Vitushka, A. (August 13, 2021). How to Initiate Sex: Best Ideas and Tips. Flo. https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/sex/sex-and-relationships/how-to-initiate-sex 

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