Ghosting — suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without explanation — is one of the most heartbreaking and soul-crushing phenomena in the world of dating.
Everything seems totally fine at the beginning. Your conversations keep going and you start getting attached to the person. Then one day, they stopped replying and cut all communications with you. You start to rack your brain to figure out what went wrong and overthink every word you said in the past. Has this ever happened to you?
Electronic communications and dating apps have made it easier to make quick connections, and break them just as fast.
Being shut out and rejected from a potential relationship indeed crushes your self-esteem and negatively impacts your future relationships (whether romantic or otherwise). It’s difficult to cope with a loss, even if you don’t know the person very well yet. Moving on isn’t easy and doesn’t happen in a snap, but it will help you open up to more possibilities and opportunities.
Moving on from ghosting may not be the same for everyone. We all have our own ways of coping with losses.
Here are some ways you can help yourself:
Acknowledge the pain
If you’re hurting or miserable, don’t deny what you are feeling. It’s okay to feel bad and to not be okay. Don’t invalidate yourself and what you are feeling. You need to feel to heal.
Cry out all your feelings, take a long walk, or talk about it with a friend you trust. As much as possible, try not numbing the pain out with substances such as illicit drugs, alcohol, and other quick highs. They only offer temporary “fixes” and may make you face more problems later on (such as addiction) or in your next relationship.
Understand that it’s about them, not you
It’s easy to think that you’ve done something wrong that’s why you got ghosted. Whatever questions you have going in your head, and whatever answers you are speculating, they don’t matter anymore.
The person left you without any evidence or apparent reason. Don’t blame yourself or think that you don’t deserve to be loved and cared for. Everyone has a reason for doing something. They may have their own personal reasons for suddenly disappearing.
Give yourself extra love
Give yourself extra love by doing things that you enjoy. In fact, even eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity can help with managing the pain you’re feeling.
Try doing yoga and meditation to reduce stress and pain, or treat yourself to something that makes you happy, such as your hobbies.
Let it go
Don’t even think about sending a text message asking for closure! You’ll have a harder time moving on if you keep on wishing for their reply. Seeing no notifications on your screen might even make your heart ache more.
Whatever happened, moving on will make you feel better. You’ll move on when you are ready, and not when others say you should do it. Move at your own pace, and do what you think is best for you.
It’s normal to be afraid of getting attached again after being ghosted. When you become happy again— whether with dating someone new or with something that’s keeping you busy — your ghoster will be nothing but a speck in your memory.