Trying new things in bed is always a good thing for couples. For men, trying anal sex may mean various things. They can look at it as a way to enjoy sex without having thoughts about pregnancies, it can bring a different kind of pleasure, or they may see it as the rawest and purest kind of sex.
However, there’s a lot to consider before entering the back door. A lot of pressure can also come with it when you know that this may be your partner’s first time as you want to make this a pleasurable experience for them.
It’s also considered taboo and drowned in negative stigma, so the topic may not be as acceptable for everyone. This article can help you introduce this anal play to your partner.
Here’s what you should do first.
Talk with your partner
As with everything, having communication with your partner is a very important step in doing anal sex. Knowing about their stand on this and if they have prior experiences with anal can be helpful moving forward.
Having the talk on trying out anal can help them become more at ease with the idea and make them comfortable doing the deed.
If they had a bad experience with anal, then it may be because of lack of enough preparations. Assure them that you have prepared everything that you both will need in trying anal stuff. It will also help if you first pleasure their perineum and the opening of the anus with your fingers to make them comfortable.
Prepare the necessities
Unlike vaginal sex, anal sex will require a few preparations in order to be more pleasurable. With perfect preparation comes better sexual experience, so here are some few tips on what you should prepare before going in the back door.
Cleaning it out – Encourage your partner to have a bowel movement prior to the act. Some use enema or a rectal douche to clean the rectum, but check in with your healthcare provider before doing so.
Set the mood – Like in any other intimate moment, setting the mood and making them feel comfortable is a major factor if one hopes to get the best experience. This can relax your partner for a better anal experience. It can be a romantic scene, a relaxing bath, or even certain porn will help, as long as it can turn your partner on.
Prepare enough lube and condoms – Personal lubricants and condoms can help you and your partner have a better anal experience. The anus doesn’t have enough natural lubrication unlike the vagina, so lube is a must-have for a more comfortable moment. Make sure it’s water-based and never use oil to avoid irritation and condom damage. Condoms, as you know, are for protection against sexually-transmitted infections and other kinds of infections.
Going in
You’ve made enough preparation now and are ready to enter the back door, but how should you approach it? Here’s what you should do:
Start with a foreplay – If your partner’s body is too tense, it may make the anus too tense as well. Foreplay can make their body hot and bothered for action. Bring them to orgasm so they can be relaxed.
Rim job them – Rim job is an act where you lick your partner’s anus, and this can help them ease up. Just let them shower and wash it. You can also join that fun and wash your partner yourself.
Lube it before you love it – Use a good amount of lube to make it as comfortable as possible. As the anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant, it’s best to use a lube and pour enough amount every now and then during your intercourse.
Slowly ease your way in – It’s always best to start slow so both you and your partner get comfortable with the deed. This helps avoid making this a painful experience or they may not do it again. You can start inserting your finger first, then the tip of your penis, and so on.
Communicate with your partner – As you go and explore the awesomeness of the back door, don’t forget to communicate with your partner. Ask them if they’re comfortable with your current position or if they feel any pain more than pleasure. You can also ask them if you can go faster or slower, or let them take the lead.
This also allows them to say if they want to stop or continue. But don’t be discouraged if they want to stop. You can always negotiate for the next time.
Final thoughts
Anal sex can be a pain in the ass, literally and figuratively, especially if there’s not enough preparation made. Communication is the key to a successful and pleasurable anal sex. Men who enter the back door should always be considerate of their partners as they might be called “pain in the ass” if things got rough and out of control.
Sources:
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-straight-mans-guide-to-backdoor-basics
