Friends with benefits, fuck buddy, booty call, no strings attached — there are a lot of ways to call casual sex, but it should only be one thing: Fun. At least, that’s what you’re hoping for. Sometimes, one-night stands can be either hot as hell or regrettable AF.
One-night stands are like vacations. You get to experience intimacy or sexual activities with someone beyond your regular life. It’s like an opportunity to step out of the mundane days for a moment and have some time to play.
While one-night stands could go wrong, here are tips to make sure you have a great time.
Know why you’re doing it
Just as there are a lot of reasons to have a one-night stand, there are also different reasons not to do it. If you want to do it, make sure it’s for the right reasons.
People enjoy one-night stands because they want to end their dry spell, they want to explore their sexuality, they need a break from their normal lives, or simply because they crave for sex.
One-night stands are about having sex and fun. Don’t do it if you feel pressured by someone or because everyone else is doing it. And if you plan to do it with emotions involved or in the hopes of making a certain person like you, please save yourself from disaster and don’t even think about having a one-night stand.
Be clear and set your intentions
One-night stands are just about sex. If you’re hoping that it buds into a relationship, that’s not the best way to do it. Oftentimes one-night stands are ruined by attachments or expectations that the fling will continue.
When having a one-night stand, make sure the person you’ll be doing it with is just in it for the sex too or at least knows what your intentions are.
Find a hookup that you like
Find someone who is easy to talk to and attractive to you. One-night stands are also great opportunities to go for someone who is not your type (you’re not dating, afterall).
Even if you may not see each other again, it’s still important to get a hookup that respects you and makes you feel comfortable. If your partner is going to be someone you already know (like a friend or former co-worker), better discuss the one-night stand arrangements first and how it may affect your friendship.
You’re going to be alone with someone you don’t know, so the least that you can do is to tell a friend where you’re going and when you’ll check back in. Also, send them updates from time to time so they don’t worry too much when you’re out longer than expected or you’re unable to answer your phone.
Know your hookup’s health and relationship status
One-night stands should leave you satisfied. The last thing you want to happen is to go home and be worried about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or, worse, a very angry boyfriend or girlfriend. Before getting into action, ask your hookup’s relationship status. Make sure that everything is just going to be about sex or at least make very clear boundaries.
Not all STIs show symptoms. And if they do, it may take months or years for them to pop up. You can’t tell whether a person has an STI by simply looking at them. Most people think that asking about a person’s health status is a total mood killer, but in reality, it’s just a safety precaution to make sure you can have a fun time free from worries.
While simply asking your hookup can already provide you with answers, asking for health proof is the best and surest way to find out. The conversation may be awkward, but you can start it off by opening up about your sexual health history to help make your hookup comfortable to share theirs. You could also open up about contraceptive use before having sex – it’s very important.
Do it sober
If you want to have a fun and memorable hookup, stay sober and remain in control of your faculties. Partying is great, but too much of it will make it hard for you to communicate, be in touch with your gut feelings, and get out of trouble in case things go wrong.
The sex is the main treat, of course, but it’s great to have a pre-treat by pampering yourself before heading out. Treat yourself by having a relaxing bubble bath, lighting some candles, playing your fave music, wearing a new outfit and cute lingerie, and putting on perfume and makeup. Have a little “sexual spa day” or do whatever makes you feel good and sexy. You’ll feel more relaxed and comfortable, which will make the one-night stand a better experience.
Ask for what you want
Communication is the secret to great sex. A one-night stand is all about sex, so might as well have an amazing time. It can feel awkward to say what you want when you’re not used to it. But being vocal in bed and telling your hookup what you want is actually sexy. A great partner will want to know how to please you.
You practically don’t know each other and what your preferences are. Take advantage of this and be open about what you want in bed. Where and how do you want your partner to touch you? Do you want it fast, slow, light, or heavy? Communicate the answers to these questions to your hookup, and you’re guaranteed to be satisfied at the end of the night.
It’s alright if you don’t want to see your hookup again, and that’s one of the best things about one-night stands. It’s your chance to go wild and experiment — try a new position, role playing, or any of your deepest sexual fantasies. If it gets awkward, remember that a one-night stand is exactly that: Just one night. Once you’re out of the door, you never have to go back and do or talk about it again.
Don’t stay for the night
A one-night stand is just for a night, so staying longer or sleeping over after doing the deed might not be the best decision, especially if you’re doing it in your hookup’s house. Remember that you’re practically strangers, so you don’t know them very well.
You can linger for wake-up sex if that’s what you like. But staying for breakfast and spending more time together? Not a good idea. “I had a really fun time with you” is a great exit line before you head out the door.
Have fun and stay safe
Above all, have fun and don’t take things too seriously! Little slip-ups could happen in the bedroom. While they could be embarrassing, just laugh it off to ease the tension and to make yourself and your hookup comfortable.
Sometimes, sex might not also go exactly as planned — the condom could break or maybe you forget to use it altogether. Always have a backup plan prepared in case something goes wrong. One of the most effective things you can do to prevent pregnancy is by doing the Yuzpe Method. Take four (4) combination pills within 72 hours after the incident, then another dose of four pills after 12 hours later.
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