Playing with temperature

Whether you’re getting frisky with your partner or playing solo with your fave toy, it’s the pleasure and satisfaction that matters.

But why not make things hotter? Or how about cooler, if that’s your thing?

Yup, playing with temperature can seriously amp up the fun! Heat and cold gives a rush of sensations and can induce arousal. 


Warming lubricants

Warming lubes give a gentle, glowing kind of heat to the area where it’s applied. Test a little bit of the warming lube on your arm first before applying it on your genitals.

Also, wait for a few minutes to adjust to temperature changes. You would not want to be too impatient that you apply too much warming lube and end up with an uncomfortable burning sensation!

Hot tea or coffee

Before going down on your partner, warm your mouth by taking a long, slow gulp of tea or coffee. The heat will change the sensation of your lips and tongue on (or in) your partner.

Keep in mind that sugar and dairy ain’t good for the genitals and may cause yeast infection. So, take your tea or coffee black, and avoid sugary drinks.

Also, make sure your drink is just warm enough instead of hot — you wouldn’t want to scorch your partner’s genitals!

Candle wax

Wax play involves dripping melted wax on your partner’s skin. Just make sure to use candles that are specifically meant for sensual play, such as massage oil candles from sex toy shops.

Don’t ever think of using your household candles in the cupboard! They could get too hot and cause burns.

And since you’ll be waving a naked flame to get the wax dripping, make sure you have something to extinguish it nearby in case the flame gets out of control.


Cooling lubricants

Much like the warming lube, cooling lubricants can also intensify pleasure by giving a touch of freshness. Cooling lubricants can be used with condoms if they’re water-based, such as EZ Cooling Jelly.

But, if you already have a handy tube of lube, you can stick it in your fridge for a few minutes to make it cool.

Ice cubes

This is probably the most basic, yet versatile trick in the list.

You can drip melted ice water on your partner, run an ice cube on their erogenous zones, or use an ice cube to cool your mouth before doing oral sex. You can get as creative as you can!


If you’ll be using sex toys, those made of glass or metal are great for temperature play. You can dunk your toy in cold (or hot, whichever you prefer) water, or put it in the fridge for a few minutes before you play.

Just remember to test it on your wrist first to make sure that the temperature is comfortable enough before you start using it.


Sex Tips Series – Warming and Cooling Gels. (n.d.). Sheets of San Francisco. https://sheetsofsanfrancisco.com/sex-tips-series-warming-and-cooling-gels/ 

Gilmour, P. (May 22, 2017). Temperature play sex tips: A beginner’s guide. Cosmopolitan. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a9904870/temperature-play-sex-ice-heat/

EroticFeel. (August 27, 2019). Warming And Cooling Lubes: Which One Is Better For Your Sexual Relations? Erotic Feel. https://www.eroticfeel.com/ww/blog/warming-and-cooling-lubes-which-one-is-better-for-your-sexual-relations 

Brabaw, K. (November 2, 2018). Fire & Ice: A How-To Guide To Temperature Sex Play. Refinery 29. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/temperature-play-sex-tips 

Kristan X. (March 11, 2022). Of Ice and Fire: A Guide to Kinky Temperature Play. Lascivity. https://www.lascivity.co.uk/of-ice-and-fire-a-guide-to-kinky-temperature-play/ 

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