Sexual compatibility: What is it and why does it matter?

Sexual compatibility: What is it and why does it matter?

What do you think are the most important elements of a long-lasting romantic relationship? Love, respect, and intimacy are probably some of the things that first came into your mind. But have you ever considered sexual compatibility?

Yup, it’s just as important as the other elements! But what exactly is sexual compatibility and why does it matter? Let’s have a deeper look into this element.

What is sexual compatibility?

Sexual compatibility has no official definition. But in general, it refers to partners sharing the same sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs.

So, how do you know if you’re sexually compatible? Communication is the answer!

Sure, just feeling “the vibe” could help you determine whether you’re compatible with your partner. But talking about your preferences and boundaries with your partner is the first step to finding out your sexual compatibility.

Here are some indications that you’re sexually compatible with each other:

  • You have the same expectations
  • You have the same views on public displays of affection
  • You agree on the frequency, duration, and intensity of sex
  • You like (or dislike) the same things, such as sexting
  • You are turned-on (or turned-off) by the same things, such as movie sex scenes
  • You care about each other’s pleasure

Why is sexual compatibility important?

Relationship counselor and Stay Connected author Lissy Ann Puno says that “Sexual intimacy is the expression of love through the physical body and one’s sexuality. Sexual intimacy is when you feel accepted, safe, valued, loving, and free to express yourself and your love for your partner with pure pleasure and enjoyment.”

Sex is a source of physical happiness and a huge aspect of romantic relationships. Just connecting emotionally, love and acceptance are also important elements when it comes to connecting sexually.

When a couple is not comfortable with each other and not able to satisfy each other’s sexual needs and desires, it’s quite obvious going to lead to dissatisfaction and frustration.


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Kassel, G. (October 25, 2019). 20 Things to Know About Sexual Compatibility. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/sexual-compatibility 

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Agarwal, S. (November 5, 2020). Sexual Compatibility – Meaning, Importance And Signs. Bonobology. https://www.bonobology.com/sexual-compatibility/ 

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