The dos and don’ts of dealing with crushes

The dos and don’ts of dealing with crushes

Have you ever met someone that gives you the so-obsessed-I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-you kind of feeling, or maybe they make you blush and nervous whenever you cross paths. And now you’re wondering, “What’s going on?” Well, you probably have a crush!

What’s a ‘crush’?

A crush is often referred to as romantic feelings for someone. It’s usually sudden — and sometimes intense — and often goes unexpressed.

But crushes don’t have to be romantic all the time or to develop into love. It could just be attraction to someone or a desire to connect with them at a deeper level.

You might experience an abundance of feelings when you have a crush. One moment, you’re embarrassed and tempted to hide from your crush. And then the next moment, you could be fearless enough to for hours and hours.

Your mind might also be preoccupied by all these fantasies and daydreams about your crush!

What should you do when you have a crush?

Having a crush can be overwhelming and exciting at the same time. It can be easy to get carried away and act spontaneously, especially when it’s your first time to have a crush.

And you don’t have to have those cringey memories that will haunt you forever, right? So here are just some of the basic things you should and should not do when dealing with a crush.

Do: Focus on other things too

The feelings are often sudden and intense. You end up being the kind of person who only thinks and talks about their crush all day and every day.

So if you have a crush, just chill out! Focus and spend time on other things as well. Keep doing your hobbies, hang out with your friends, and pursue your own goals and dreams.

Your crush is just a part of your life; they’re not, and should not, be your entire life. If you direct your intense feelings to them, you might end up overwhelming them and scaring them away.

It can be hard, but try to keep calm and contain your feelings at a level that your crush is comfortable with.

Don’t: Give unwanted physical contact

It’s totally understandable that you want to be close to them. But everyone has a right to their personal, physical space.

For most people, personal space often starts at least an arms-length from our bodies. And when someone goes too far into our personal space, it can make us feel scared, violated, or anxious.

Consent is important in any relationship, even with crushes. If you want to give your crush a hug or a pat on the back (or touch them in any way), always ask them first if they’re okay with it.

Do: Back off when asked

It hurts to be rejected or turned away by someone you like. But you have to respect your crush if they ask (or show) you to back off.

Notice their words and body language as much as you can. If they avoid you, seem tense, annoyed, or scared, or they stop talking to you, then these are signs that they’re uncomfortable.

They might think you’re creepy or unsafe if you ignore their boundaries. So it’s best to step back and give them space. Doing so shows that you respect them as a person who deserves to feel safe.

Don’t: Demand for their time and attention

While spending more time with your crush will likely make them like you back, they could feel smothered and bothered if you demand too much of their time and attention.

You’ll get to know each other more if you’re always together or talking with each other. But overdoing it might make them realize that you’re actually annoying. So that’s less chances of making your crush like you back.

Remember that your crush is also an individual who has their own interests, responsibilities, and hobbies. Give them their own time and space. If they really want to be with you or talk to you, they’ll make an effort to reach out.

Do: Be yourself

Sure, you want to impress your crush so they’ll think you’re awesome or like you back. But totally changing yourself just to make them like you isn’t a good idea.

It’s exhausting to pretend to be someone who you’re not — and your crush might not even like the image that you’re trying to project.

If you hope to be in a relationship with your crush, you deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are.


You can crush on someone from afar, or you can pursue your feelings. But don’t rush yourself if you’ve decided to act on it! Take some time to understand your feelings and figure out what you really want.

If you are reading this and have flashbacks of embarrassing memories, know that it’s totally okay! No one came into this world knowing how to behave around a crush. At least now you know what to do the next time around.


Santos-Longhurts, A. (February 10, 2021). How to Recognize That You Have a Crush — and What to Do Next. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/having-a-crush 

What you need to know if you’re crushing hard. (March 1, 2019). ABC. https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/whats-a-crush/10862930 

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