The term “fetish” has a negative connotation here in the Philippines, which is known as a very religious country that houses more than a few major religious groups.
It is also a term commonly associated with wearing black latex suits, whips, and definitely more than what everyone who read or watched “50 Shades of Grey” had imagined.
However, that isn’t really the case, which brings us here to discuss what fetishes really are and how it really affects your sexual health.
What are Fetishes?
In simple terms, sexual fetishes are something that gets a person sexually excited and, most of the time, can’t get aroused without them. These may range from specific objects, characteristics, activities, or anything that they might find pleasing.
Some people may get confused with fetishes and kinks. While kinks are activities or anything outside of the “traditional sex” to make it more “spicy”, fetishes are those acts or objects that a person revolve their sexual arousal around.
For example, someone might get more aroused if they are handcuffed which means that’s their kink, while some can’t get to orgasm if they aren’t handcuffed which means that’s their fetish.
Fetish isn’t something like a “turn on”, it is something that people base their arousal on. They may imagine it when they’re alone, or make their lovers do it to or with them.
Should you hide your fetishes?
Fetishes are perfectly normal and everyone has one or more, so it’s fine. However, there are certain boundaries when you want to reveal those to your friends, family, or lovers.
There are some fetishes that are normal (normophilic), like on body parts such as breasts, thighs, or even tattoos, which are, most of the time, harmless to both parties.
There are also those on the weird side (paraphilic) like autoplushophilia or dressing as a stuffed animal, and katoptronophilia or having sex in front of mirrors. Fetishes such as these need the consent of both parties.
However, some fetishes can evolve into becoming behavioral disorders and may affect relationships, careers, and more. If this is the case for you, you might have to seek professional help.
Can it affect your relationship?
Of course, it can. The effect may be positive or negative, depending on how you will act towards it.
The magic word for a fulfilled relationship while making your fetishes come true is “consent”. It is very important if you want your lover to do what you have been fantasizing about.
Fetishes can be pleasurable if both parties come to an agreement. If someone is forced on fulfilling their partner’s fantasy, it may cause them pain, physically and mentally.
If both of you have a conversation about it, you might find common ground on your fetish and watch as your fantasies become realities, while your bond gets stronger than you’ll ever hope for.