How to Handle Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies and fetishes are a natural and common aspect of human sexuality. They can be a source of pleasure, exploration, and self-discovery. However, they can also be a source of confusion, guilt, and shame for others. 

Whether you have a vivid imagination or struggle with unwanted thoughts, learning how to handle these kinds of thoughts can help you feel more in control of your sexuality and relationships. 

Here are some tips and strategies for responsibly dealing with your sexual fantasies.

Understand and Accept Your Fantasies

Understanding that sexual fantasies are normal and not something to be ashamed of is the first step in handling them. 

It can be helpful to take some time to explore them without judgment. This may involve examining the themes and scenarios that arouse you and reflecting on why they appeal to you. Consider whether your fantasies are rooted in a desire for intimacy, power, or adventure, and think about how they make you feel. You might want to have a look at our article on what your sexual fantasies say about you.

Consider their Impact on Yourself and Others

When it comes to acting on sexual fantasies, it’s essential to first consider the potential impact of doing such a thing. While some fantasies may be healthy to act upon, others may not align with your values, ethics, or boundaries; or those of your partner/s.

It’s equally important to assess whether your fantasies are doable, safe, and won’t endanger anyone involved. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it on the beach, but it’s vital to consider whether acting on it would be comfortable for you and your partner and free from the risk of being caught or exposed to others. There’s also the matter of legality. You wouldn’t want to end up in jail or paying a fine because you wanted to get kinky, would you?

Similarly, some fantasies may involve activities that carry a high risk of injury or harm, such as BDSM. It’s important to take necessary precautions and educate yourself on safe and consensual practices before engaging in such activities. Ultimately, being aware of the risks and challenges associated with acting on your fantasies can help you make informed decisions about whether and how to pursue them.

Practice Responsible Fantasy Expression

Managing sexual fantasies and fetishes involves being aware of one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s important to understand that fantasies are not reality and may not always be feasible or appropriate to pursue. 

It’s normal to have conflicting feelings or moral dilemmas about certain fantasies. Reflecting on the underlying motivations and consequences of acting on a particular fantasy can help in making responsible decisions.

If there’s a sexual experience on your mind that you’d like to try with your partner, it’s best that you talk to them about it. If they’re open to playing it out, then enjoy! Communicating with your partner, respecting their boundaries, and obtaining clear and enthusiastic consent are fundamental parts of sex. They should also be considered essential when it comes to realizing your fantasies and fetishes.

Seek Professional Help If Needed

If you find that your sexual fantasies are causing you distress or interfering with your daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual issues can provide you with a safe and confidential space to explore your fantasies and any related concerns. 

They can also help you develop coping strategies, improve communication with your partner/s, and address any underlying psychological or emotional issues that may be contributing to your fantasies.

Although sexual fantasies are all in your mind, processing them and deciding how to best handle them is beneficial for your overall health and sexuality. It’s crucial to accept and understand your desires; consider the weight and impact of your sexual thoughts; observe responsibility when planning to act on them; and look for professional help if necessary.

If you’d like to learn more about fantasies, fetishes, and how to properly deal with them, you could check out Episode 2 of the Naked Truth Show on Youtube or our Facebook page. It’s a talk show featuring Macoy Dubs as the curious Gina G and the sexologist Dr. Rica Cruz.

By navigating sexual fantasies with mindfulness and respect, you can have a positive and fulfilling sexual experience.


  • Loggins, B. (2022, May 17). Having sexual fantasies? Here’s why and when you should act on them. Verywell Mind. Retrieved April 18, 2023, from https://bit.ly/41Cxnfu
  • Image from Freepik
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