As soon as you see a rainbow flag, you have an idea about the community and what it represents. Speaking of the flag, a lot of people are curious about the lives of homosexuals. How do people who are not in a male-female relationship make love? What’s the level of intimacy and the dynamics of same-sex relationships?
In these modern times, LGBTQ can be seen at schools, workplaces, basically everywhere and some of the members of this community are very successful people like Tim Cook, Ellen Degeneres, and in the local scene, we have Vice Ganda and Boy Abunda.
Here are FAQs most LGBTQ people often get asked.
1. When did you find out that you are gay?
Answer: This question is as tough as when you are asked about the moment you’ve started breathing. Most LGBT folks associate the discovery of their sexual orientation with their first attraction. But since for some, sexual attraction is ‘fluid’ throughout a person’s lifespan, this question doesn’t always apply. Besides, asking someone’s sexual orientation is received as inappropriate by some people. But if you really just genuinely want to know and relate to the person, and that your intention is pure — the more subtle approach would be to ask about their first experience of being attracted to another person. Again, asking someone about their sexual orientation isn’t always a great idea, especially if you don’t know the person that well.
2. Who takes the role of “man” and who is the “woman”?
Answer: When two guys confess that they are gays (same applies to lesbians), your curiosity might get the better of you and could cause you to get aroused to ask dumb questions. But don’t ask. Even if you are close to them, it is a private topic and they wouldn’t like to answer questions like that. If you really can’t help yourself, maybe rephrase the question by saying “how does being in a same-sex relationship work?” That sounds more polite and really removes the prejudice from just being limited to understanding male-female relationships.
3. Should I introduce you to other gay/lesbian people?
Answer: If you wish to continue your friendship with a gay/lesbian friend, you should never ask this question. S/He doesn’t need your help in finding the one s/he likes and saying you know someone of her/his tastes can make an impression that you are a homosexual like him – if you can’t help yourself, do it politely.
4. Avoid using the pronoun s/he doesn’t like.
Answer: You already know to avoid using nasty slang like bi*ch and other rude and derogatory words. Besides, you should be careful not to use “sexualized” pronouns. Just because s/he is a homosexual doesn’t mean s/he wants to be a wo/man – so you should avoid doing that. Just take it lightly and treat him/her as a human being, just like anybody else – that’s more than enough.
5. Such a shame…
Answer: S/He wouldn’t know what it means. There will be arguments over that so avoid asking questions like that. You might think it is a shame that a man or a woman would fall in love with a person of the same sex but it’s not your life – it’s theirs. If there’s something to be ashamed about, it is like being your gossiping neighbors (we all have them) who are only worried about the lives of other people and not about theirs.
You need to avoid doing the above-mentioned blunders and be a true friend to LGBTQ people by knowing better. If you are gay, lesbian, or whatever your gender identity is, what are the disturbing questions for you? If you have been through a one-of-a-kind experience, share it with us at the comments section below or you can send us a message anonymously.