Couples normally feel bored in their relationship after months or years. Moments become ordinary, and the butterflies in your stomach start to fly away. The “honeymoon” phase may have passed, but you can always choose to re-energize things to keep the sparks going! Here are some of what you can do.
Capture their eyes
There’s something about capturing bae’s eyes that can totally heat up the scene. If you want to keep the sparks, making eye contact as many times as possible can do the trick. According to a research by positive psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, “making eye contact produces neural synchrony between the couple.” This lets them release oxytocin — the “love hormone” — at the same time, which boosts their mood and makes them feel better about each other. It’s a simple trick, but it can make wonders!
Share good news
Capitalization is a relationship concept we don’t often hear about, but it sets a strong foundation. Capitalization occurs when two or more people connect over a shared positive emotion, and thus boosting loving feelings and affection. These little moments of sharing good news with each other and exchanging positive responses lead to deeper bonds and better health. Showing support and encouragement for each other is essential in feeling connected.
Get more touchy
Whether sexual or not, skin-to-skin contact lets your partner know that you’re fully present and “here” for them. It can be as simple as holding hands, massaging the head, or a peck on the cheek. A great way to get more skin-to-skin action is to sleep together naked.
Sleeping naked with your partner is often thought of something sexual or will lead to sex, but it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. If you go to bed naked, you’ll find each other snuggling and cuddling more for warmth. Skin-to-skin contact also encourages the releases of oxytocin. It strengthens your connection with each other by inciting feelings of trust, ease, and stability, and increases levels of attraction.
Show your partner how much you appreciate them and how grateful you are for all the things they do. It’s easy to spot and call them out when they’ve done something you don’t like, but it will surely push them away from you. To keep them close, make it a habit to tell your partner what they’re doing right. It’ll also help them be aware of the things that they should do more often. It’s up to you how you’ll show appreciation and gratitude for your partner, so get creative with your approach — just make sure they get what you want to convey.
Try something new
Trying something new together may bring out qualities you never saw from each other. At the beginning of the relationship, you two usually find similar interests and things you enjoy together. Later on, you discover that you also have special interests and hobbies individually. It’s a great experience to try your partner’s favorite hobbies, and let them get involved in yours, too. You can also try an activity that’s new and different for both of you. Great memories will be made while discovering something new!
Any moment spent together is great, but if you’re also on your phone, then that time becomes less special. Researchers have confirmed that cellphones damage relationships. The study shows that cellphone-use causes conflicts and lowered satisfaction between couples.
If you want to keep your partner, set aside time to spend together and focus on each other. Unplug from your cellphones to make sure that there will be no interruption and disturbances. Take the opportunity to bond over coffee, and ask how each other is doing.
Make date nights a thing
You probably had a lot of dates during the first few months of your relationship, and maybe you had less and less as the months or years passed by. Having a date night at least once a month is a great way to take you back to the excitement and relive the memories you had during the first stage of the relationship. A study even found that couples who have a date night at least once a month may be 14% less likely to break up.
Date nights don’t always have to be in a fancy restaurant. You can get creative by even just cooking for your favorite dishes, and have a candlelit dinner at home.
Know their love language
Everyone has a different way of expressing love. According to the “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, the different languages are gift-giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. If you know what your partner’s love language is, you can tailor how you’ll show your love so that they’ll surely feel it. Sometimes, you might do something for your partner out of love, but they might not notice or appreciate it as much as you thought they would — this could mean that their love language is different. Want to know more about love languages? Click here for a quick guide.