Dirty Talk 101

Dirty talk can be an incredibly sensual and intimate way to spice up a sexual encounter. It could also be an effective way to impress your partner if you’re hooking up for the first time. However, it can also be intimidating if you’re not used to it or if you’ve never done it before. Don’t worry, though. That’s what we’re here for!

First things first: it’s essential to approach this topic with an open mind and a willingness to learn. There’s nothing wrong with talking dirty, but there are a few important things to remember if you’d like to do it right. 

Consent and Communication are Required. 

Before engaging in any form of sex talk, it’s crucial to first obtain their consent. Consent means that both people are actively willing and enthusiastic about engaging in the activity. Without permission, it becomes a one-way thing, which is bad!

You have to first ensure that your partner is okay with dirty talk. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what you’re comfortable with. Follow our tips for talking about safe sex. Both of you should respect each other’s boundaries. Remember: dirty talk should always be a consensual and enjoyable experience for both or all people involved.

Go Easy and Build Up Your Confidence

If you’ve never talked dirty to someone before, you might want to take it slow at first and then slowly develop your skills. Start with simple phrases that express appreciation like the following:

  • “You’re so hot.”
  • “That feels so good.”
  • “I love that.”

Respond to how your partner looks or what they’re doing. Indicating that you’re having a great time might motivate them to turn it up and blow your mind.

If you’re the one who’s doing the work, it would be beneficial to ask your partner questions that should help you pleasure her/him.

  • “Do you like that?”
  • “Want me to go harder?”
  • “How do you want me to please you?”

As you become more comfortable, you can gradually include more explicit language in your dirty talk.

Explore Different Types of Dirty Talk and Find What Works for You.

Another tip is to know what type of dirty talk turns you and your partner on. Some people prefer romantic, sensual language, while others enjoy more straightforward and graphic types of interactions with their partner/s. It pays to experiment in order to find what works best for you and your partner.

Remember that there’s no “right” way to talk dirty, and the goal here is to find the right type of language to use during sexy time.

Listen and Pay Attention to How Your Partner Responds.

Dirty talk is a two-way street. It’s important to pay attention to your partner’s response to what you’re saying. Not everyone will be comfortable with the same type of dirty talk, and some things might be off-limits for your partner (that’s why consent and communication are a must!).

Paying attention to your partner and making adjustments if necessary are behaviors that should be observed in and out of the bedroom.

Use it to Enhance Your Sexual Connection.

Dirty talk can be a powerful tool for enhancing your sexual connection with your partner. It can help you both communicate your desires and turn each other on, leading to a more satisfying and pleasurable sexual experience.

To get the most out of your naughty exchanges, focus on the positive aspects of your sexual connection and use language that affirms your partner’s attractiveness and desirability. Just keep in mind that dirty talk should always be respectful and consensual.

Try Sexting!

Who says dirty talk can only happen face-to-face? When you and your partner can’t physically meet, maybe sexting is the most intimate activity you can do.

If you didn’t know, sexting refers to “sexy texting” which is getting kinky with someone through text or instant messaging platforms. In sexting, you mainly use words and your imagination; though you could definitely send pics and videos as well. 

It’s a nice way to keep the fire of intimacy burning while you two are physically apart. It can also help build anticipation for your next F2F sexual encounter. Be sure to obtain consent for that as well.

As with many other endeavors, practice can help you improve your dirty-talking skills. It’s totally fine if you don’t exactly know what to say the first few times you try it. What’s important is you keep trying until you reach a level of comfort that’s enjoyable for you and your partner.

Remember that dirty talk should be a fun and exciting way to connect with your partner in bed, and it should never make them feel uncomfortable or disrespected. By following the tips above, you can create more intimate and fulfilling sexual experiences. So go ahead, try out some dirty talk, and see how it can take your sex life to the next level!


  • Engle, G., Zane, Z., & Strong, R. (2022, December 5). The beginner’s guide to talking dirty in bed. Men’s Health. Retrieved April 25, 2023, from https://bit.ly/3ArvhDC
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