Sex should be a safe space. It’s an intimate activity involving people who want to make each other feel good. And part of making your partner feel good is knowing what you shouldn’t do to them or with them.
So here’s a list of things men should avoid in bed.
Don’t set conditions
Everything you do to your partner should be done willingly and unconditionally.
So just because you went down on your partner, don’t expect them to give you a blowjob back! (That’s actually rule number one of the Eight Commandments of a Blowjob).
Doing something with the assumption that your partner should do it to you in return is selfish and has no place in sexy time.
Don’t force your partner to do something
Everyone has the right to say “no” to things they don’t like. The same goes for sexual partners.
If your partner doesn’t want to do a certain act, you need to accept that. Don’t hold it against them if they refuse to do something you asked. It’s not necessarily an offense against you. It’s just something they’d rather not do.
No one wants to be forced to perform something they don’t like, and no one should be!
Don’t do something uncomfortable for your partner
This is an extension of the previous sex don’t. If your partner says that a particular move or position is uncomfortable for them, avoid it. There are hundreds of other sexy things you can do anyway.
It helps to be sensitive. If you notice that your partner isn’t as pleased as they should be, it won’t hurt to ask how they feel. And if they say they’re not comfortable, you should immediately stop whatever it is you’re doing.
Don’t get rough without consent
Sure, some of us like it rough. But, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to just suddenly choke or pull someone’s hair! Having an open conversation outside the bedroom should also help deal with this. You can ask permission to get rough or come up with safe words to indicate when things get too rough for one of you.
Sex isn’t simply about making yourself ejaculate. It’s supposed to be about making yourself and your partner feel good. So don’t be in a hurry to reach climax.
If you’re going to thrust harder and faster, your objective should be to spice things up and make your partner feel much better.
Keep in mind that every part of sex is pleasurable—beginning, middle, and end. So focus on the entire journey, not the destination.
Don’t do anything YOU aren’t comfortable with
Of course, you also deserve to feel great and safe during sex. That means your partner should respect all the things you don’t want to do or experience when in the act.
If something uncomfortable comes up, you shouldn’t be afraid to voice it out. If your partner respects and cares for you as a human being, they have to be okay with it. But again, it’s best to inform your partner of such things. If you’d like to know more about discussing safe sex with your partner, check out our article on that topic.
Aside from the things we’ve listed, it’s also very important to talk to your partner/s about what’s okay for you guys. Communication is key in relationships, especially sexual relationships. It can help you guarantee that whenever you get intimate, you’re in a safe space.
Image from zinkevych on Freepik